I’m feeling kind of ornery today. Thinking about Garrett,
whom I’ve had two dreams about the pasted two nights in a row. The first I
greeted him with hugs and kisses, knowing in the dream that I was to wake up
and he’d be gone. He smiled and hugged back. I woke up without feeling scared,
I felt good that I got to see him again. The second he was with a crowd of
people, knowing he wasn’t alive but acting as if he didn’t know he was and we
were to treat him as if he were alive. I asked a friend why we were pretending,
he knew he was dead. Still I got to see him again and this time he looked more
like Garrett. Thank you for visiting I miss you like crazy! Maybe I’m becoming
less mad at you.
Today was our Christmas lunch at work. I can barely produce
a smile. Maybe it's just the company. Or maybe I’m tired. Or maybe I’m finally winding down and just plain tired
from all the Christmas festivities and shopping. It does take a lot out of me.
By the end of the lunch, FINALLY someone sat next to me, I was more able to
smile and converse with people. I did bring my pie up to my desk though. It was
cherry and it was cold. Why was the pie cold? It isn’t good cold.
Anyways, back to work. I hope I can snap out of this funk I
have a long week ahead of me.

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