Monday, December 19, 2011

We Can Do Hard Things


I’m feeling kind of ornery today. Thinking about Garrett, whom I’ve had two dreams about the pasted two nights in a row. The first I greeted him with hugs and kisses, knowing in the dream that I was to wake up and he’d be gone. He smiled and hugged back. I woke up without feeling scared, I felt good that I got to see him again. The second he was with a crowd of people, knowing he wasn’t alive but acting as if he didn’t know he was and we were to treat him as if he were alive. I asked a friend why we were pretending, he knew he was dead. Still I got to see him again and this time he looked more like Garrett. Thank you for visiting I miss you like crazy! Maybe I’m becoming less mad at you.

Today was our Christmas lunch at work. I can barely produce a smile. Maybe it's just the company. Or maybe I’m tired. Or maybe I’m finally winding down and just plain tired from all the Christmas festivities and shopping. It does take a lot out of me. By the end of the lunch, FINALLY someone sat next to me, I was more able to smile and converse with people. I did bring my pie up to my desk though. It was cherry and it was cold. Why was the pie cold? It isn’t good cold.

Anyways, back to work. I hope I can snap out of this funk I have a long week ahead of me.

Happy Holidays! 

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