Sing Along

Recently a couple old friends were asked to sing with another mutual friends band on a couple of tracks, back up. This is like a dream of mine. I would love to sing back up to a kick ass band. But sadly I wasn’t asked, or just wasn’t in the right place at the right time.

I was kind of jelly about the whole thing. Then I was at my parent’s house for my dad’s bday breakfast. A song came on the speakers, from my dad’s play list and my dad rushed my twin sister and I outside to hear it better. I didn't know what he wanted at the time, bringing us outside I thought I was in trouble or something. A train was passing through so we couldn't hear what was on the speakers. I said, “what is it, what do you want?” and finally he says “I wanted you to sing this song with me”. At that moment it hit me. I don’t need to prove myself to anyone or be in a band. I know I can sing and it’s enough just having my dad want me to sing a song with him.

It made me remember when we were young my grandfather would have us sing into his little recorder for him. I can’t remember now what the song was that he would always make us sing, but I remember singing into the recorder often enough. I would do anything to be singing for him again. 

De-Cluttering and Finding Old Stuff

Last week I walked into my room after eating dinner and gave it a good hard look. After looking through some old photo albums and sorting loose things into boxes I started organizing and throwing stuff I just do not use away. I went through maybe 4 trash bags and two sets of t-shirts and sleep pants because I was covered in dust. Realizing I probably hadn't dusted in about a year...Or more. 


I de-cluttered my shelves and some drawers. Now I have a couple empty shelves (for more junk in the future I anticipate) and two empty drawers. The moral of this blog was to get this Poem I wrote out of the way. I found it stacked under lots of old papers, concert wrist bands, tickets, lose photos and holiday cards. After reading it I remember I wrote it after a friend of mine died a while back in October. It was a horrible feeling. One I thought I'd never get rid of. Of course I did and hoped to never feel it again. Too bad things don't work out that way. 


Anyways, here's the poem (don't judge mkay!)...


We're back here again
It feels like a million times
Walking up to the familiar doors
I feel sick


Over Whelmed with sadness
We're no strangers to this place
Everyone looks so unreal
Passing by with nods and half ass smiles


Trying to listen to the voices
I stare into the carpet
Completely numb and out of it
No tears to cry no words to speak


Missing you is my weakness
Thinking of all the times we shared
Passed and gone
Left as old memories felt with tears


I realize it's a bit lame, but that's how I felt at the time. Now I can put this paper in the recycle bin. Since everything is digital now if I need to go back and remember I'll just look at my ever so popular blog. 

OkStupid

My dad told me he went on "OkStupid" found my profile and under neath my picture it read "High Maintenance". First off, thanks dad. Second, I am not high maintenance. I actually think of myself as low maintenance. Considering my competition and my track record. But maybe I'm wrong. I mean here I am still single. Still on okc.


OKC has consistently been giving me a case of the disappointments. Not that it's all been a waste, I've met some really interesting people. Had good dates and had bad dates, but I'm getting sick of seeing the same people every time I log on. I feel like I've dated every single guy on okc. Most of the guys, not that there was anything wrong with them, I just wasn't interested. 


I started hiding profiles and now I feel like I'm hiding everyone. Much like I've done of fb. Now I sound like I don't like people. Which is partly true. I don't like the guys who don't post but one picture and that lonely picture barely shows your face. That usually means there's something wrong with the way you look. The vague profile. The 98% match that doesn't interest me in the slightest. When I say I want to date someone of my ethnicity why do you keep pulling up guys not in that group? Or guys that live 50 miles away when I specifically say 25 miles or less? Gas is expensive okc. So what's up really? 


So, I'm about over it and I think I'm going to take a hiatus for a while.