We're Gonna Grow On Up To Be

Every day I drive by my old house because it’s in my neighborhood, but yesterday it got me thinking to myself, “I wish I could go back there, things were much easier back then”, but when I think about it that’s not really true.

I think when we’re feeling down we like to go back and think that things were easier “back then”, but really we had shit going on then too. Living in that house, sure we had great parties and we were so young, but we had our fair share of hardship too. The more I thought about it I remembered countless cry fests over “boyfriends”, fights with my roommate (we would write each other letters cause we couldn't stand each other. Thankfully we’re best friends now) and even some fist a cuffs with my sissy (yeah those still happen). If nothing else rent was only $300 and I could function on little to no sleep. Boy how the time has changed me.

And it’s as if she knows, my sister in law texted me this morning telling me she was thinking of me, without even knowing that I needed that. She’s awesome I love her. Life has a way of teaching us what we do and don’t need. I know I need at least 7 hours of sleep to function. I also know that I don’t need any bullshit. And if I’m being honest with myself I do need Scott Speedman (you’ll always be Benjamin to me Scott). 

Thank you Facebook…

For reminding me that I hate you and that I love the “hide” option that you got rid of.

I’m going to say that facebook has been responsible for making me mad at every guy I've dated since I've been single. Facebook and the over willingness to share every little thing you do on fb. Dating is hard enough, and then you got facebook adding drama where it doesn't need to be. 

This Week I Love Kickball

I had a GREAT kickball game last night! I caught a high fly ball at shortstop with the tips of my fingers in our first inning. I followed that one up with almost an exact replica of that catch, but missed it…thankfully our captain (who usually steals my plays) backed me up and got the guy out at third. In the 6^th inning I caught another pop up at shortstop to what I was told was the reason we won the game. I was quite the MVP last night, if I don’t say so myself.

It wasn’t just me. The whole team showed up last night. I needed those catches just as badly as the rest of my team did. We’ve had 4 games and these are my first official catches of the season. The rest I’ve dropped or they bounced off me. Sads.

Besides all that everyone was behaving. Probably because the team we played wasn’t all together. I’ve realized my team acts out when we play someone better than us. 

This Year in Halloween News

Because it’s only a little bit over a month away and duh I’ve been weighing my considerations since June, I’ve come to a semi conclusion of what I’m going to be for Halloween this year…The Bride of Frankenstein.

A couple years ago I bought an inflatable Bride of Frankenstein headpiece. It’s kind of funny, but paired with a white dress (still looking for the perfect one, I’ll be hitting up antique stores) and the right makeup (from a friend) I think it’ll be cute. Too bad I don’t have a Frankenstein. Single girl problem: Always wanting to do a couple costume for Halloween and not having the + one to do so.

But uh oh…A very close second has me wanting to be Clockwork Orange Alex. As disgusting as the movie and/or character is, there is something about him that is so intriguing. 

If Tuesday Were A Person...It Was Home Schooled

I’m crying on the inside today. Not like a balling just a mere weeping. Nothing really specifically sad happened today its just happening. A coworker announced her recent engagement. Don’t get me wrong I’m totes happy for her, but that now makes for TWO engagers in the office, and I’m still single, so methinks that’s a bit greedy of the office. It could also just be nearing that time of the month.

I read today that I could make some extra (not much) mullah by publishing my blog on the kindle. As far as I can see it’s FREE (for me) and sounds pretty enticing. Dear readers I’ll be looking into this. My cousin said I need to get rid of my blogspot, but I’m like it’s FREE, I’m not paying for a URL and just FOLLOW me! 

Anyways, it’s just Tuesday and I have a lot going through my head today. My cc ran out of its no interest and in trying to do a balance transfer applied for the WRONG card and now that’s just something I have to deal with tomorrow. Giant.Pain.In.The.Ass. On a happy note, it’s FALL and it’s amazing outside. Brisk in the morning, cool in the afternoon, the sounds and feelings of fall are everywhere. Soon I’ll be digging out Halloween decor from my attic and carving pumpkins (don’t know why this excites me every year we curse the night in doing this). Michigan is less than a month away, and though I’m not excited to fly I’m really excited about the trip.

Maybe my inner weeps are happy not sad. 

Taco Bell and Their New Sauce Sayings

Can we get one of these that say “Friend Request Denied”? Typically I do more denying than accepting. Seriously I probably have 14 ignored friend requests right this very moment. Sometimes I go through them and try to know you or remember you, but truth is I don’t so we’re probably not friends. Not even by facebook standards. 

This Week in a Rundown

It’s been a while since last I’ve blogged (rambled, complained or whatever) so I thought I’d give you, my dear readers, a run down of my week.

 For starters the last guy I went out with (who made me go dutch on drinks/dinner and who attacked my face) keeps texting me. I honestly don’t know if he actually likes me and thinks the date went well or if I've now become a conquest to concur. He texted me some shit about how miller lites (my fave) were burning a hole in his fridge and they weren't going to drink themselves so I needed to “come over” and that he’d “try” to behave. I told him that I was busy doing laundry. 

Kickballs has been back for three weeks now. We’ve lost 2 and won 1. Not a good record. We played an old friends team this week and of course as my team does, they acted like total douche bags. I don’t know if it’s because some of them are so young or if that’s just them but it’s like every little thing, some of my players, want to make a big deal of it and act out. I literally considered cussing them out and walking off the field all dramatic like. When it came time to shake hands at the end of the game, one of my very own teammates (douche bag) refused to shake hands with one particular player. Un sports man like and not ok by me. I shouldn’t have to feel the need to apologize for my team. It’s fall my favorite season. The weather is showing signs of such and we should be out having a good time not making deals out of nothing. It’s kickball! Drink your beer, kick some balls and shut up if you have something negative to say.

The memorial for our boss was this week. I didn’t think I’d get emotional, but damnit when his granddaughter got up there and started crying I couldn’t help myself. After she was gone I thought I was in the clear, but NO! His son gave me the water works as well. He really was a great man. I was honored to be there. The service was quite nice and hello they had an open bar after!

Finally, it’s Friday and last night we went to the County Fair. I’d never been to anything like this and been wanting to go ever since I read The Night Circus. It was so much fun, but after a couple of spinny rides my sissy and myself weren’t feeling that good. Reminded me of that awful ride we rode at t he beach that made us all sick. Just thinking about it makes me ick feeling. And per usual we got on the ferris wheel and stopped right at the tippy top which freaks me the F out! It’s like they know I no likey. Regardless it was fun. Spent more money than we anticipated, but I’d go again. 

That I Am A Scorpio

Scorpio Traits 

That all being established, I am thinking up ways to get someone back right now (vindictive Scorpio). I can’t even help it! It just happens. It’s in my nature.

I’m so sensitive to people not responding to my texts quicker. I automatically go to the negative. When really we all get busy with LIFE. When I don’t get what I want, or what I expect, I get upset and start to play situations of meanness out in my head. I don’t typically go through with them, but still.

I feel like every time I let my guard down it comes back to bite me! There’s this duet that I LOVE and a verse that goes, (F) “I wish you’d hold me when I turn my back” (M) “The less I give the more I get back” and I totes feel that way!

Enough of all that…someone asked me the other night what traits I share with the Scorpio and here it is. If you know me at all you’ll see the similarities I share with the common Scorpio. Some are truer than others. 

Shivers on a Sad Day

I don’t know what it is, but whenever I talk about sad things or frustrating things I get really cold. Like shivering cold.

Last night it was during a conversation of suicide. Today it’s after hearing that the owner of our company doesn’t have much longer to live. After seeing my boss crying and sitting thinking on the sad news I can’t stop shivering and my hands are freezing.

Mr. B is a great man and he’ll be greatly missed for everything he did for each and every one of us. Whether we knew him for years or just days, he was good to us. 

My Journey’s: WARNING GRAPHIC but no NUDITY

I woke up this morning thinking last nights date was just a nightmare…No such luck.

Everything started off really well. He was cute, dressed nice and even taller than me. We shared a lot of the same interests, spoke about music and being on the beach. 3 hours flew by at this brew house and we got the tab. As I do, I ignore it and just wait for it to be paid, but not with this guy. He says, “So you wanna split this”. I was shocked but kept it together and said, “sure”. He scurried off to the laboratories and I told the waiter to split it down the middle, even though I had TWO beers compared to his FOUR and we SPLIT a salsa and queso. At one point in the night he mentions his “female confidant”. At the end of the date I’m thinking, did his “female confidant” tell him to split the tab? You must know this guy is a beer brewer by profession, so my “male confidant” told me this guy needs to brew up some common courtesy. At the very least to pick up the damn tab on a date!

Still he asked me if I wanted to come back to his place because it was a nice night and we could “hang on the porch”. Not to seem totally annoyed, which I was, I said yes. I’m thinking ONE beer and I’ll go, because it is a work night for me. I follow him to his place down the road and he gets us both a beer. We’re sitting on his porch enjoying my fave Miller Lite and all the sudden he comes in for the kiss. You would think this would be nice…it wasn’t. Probably the worst kisser I’ve ever dealt with and there was no way I could make it work even a little bit. He’s being way too aggressive, which just sets the tone for what he’s really out for.

He’s getting more and more aggressive and I tell him things gotta stop there. He goes on and on asking me questions about why, and telling me my body and the way I’m acting or dressing (believe me my clothes were on LOCK DOWN) is telling him differently (WTF!) and I’m having to explain to him my morals (because damnit I do have them). This goes on for a while. He tells me he has to sleep with someone to know if he wants to “date” her. Knowing this is all complete bullshit I just tell him it doesn’t work that way for me. I do finally convince him that NOTHING is going to happen, by telling him I was just Baptized and I'm walking a life through the eyes of God (forgive me) and I get on my way home knowing that he’ll never call me and that I’m completely ok with that.

Probably the worst date I’ve ever been on. And it showed such great promise at the beginning of the night. Boo dude! 

UPDATE: The guy texts me this morning! He says he had a great time last night and for me to have a great week. What a weird day. Dilemma, one guy I like doesn't know how to make plans or text me on the whim, yet he tells me great things about myself and makes me feel good. This guy totes makes me feel like he's out for ONE thing (that is sex) and yet he follows up with texts telling me he had fun and to have a great week. 

Suicide Awareness

Apparently it’s suicide awareness day and to show our support we’re suppose to wear yellow. In my research (Wikipedia) I couldn’t back this “yellow” theory up, I did however find this: "Suicide Awareness September 10th write Love on your wrist or wear something yellow to show your support for anyone who has thought of, attempted or succeeded in taking their own life". 

I don’t own one piece of yellow because I was raised a GA bulldog and disgust the color but, I still want to share my support. 

Could this FB be an Evil Cult?

Again it’s fb! These holes that allow people we don’t want contacting us to get in. Today I have deleted a friend request from the same person 3 times (I have always preferred things that come in threes)! I guess she didn’t get the hint the first time I REJECTED her request. So, she thought it good measure to ask again…and again. Home girl it’s not happening!

I guess we do it to ourselves. Putting ourselves out there vulnerable to people contacting us. Usually it’s as simple as rejecting a friend request (once), but this one seems to be harder than it’s worth. So now it has come to her being BLOCKED! 

“We Can’t Help Who We Fall In Love With”

I don’t believe that! We don’t fall in love with the a**hole because he treats us badly. We fall in love with him because it’s something we want. Something we’re lacking, but we find in him. Something we think we deserve or that we can’t do better.

I’ve heard women time and time again say that. Girl he treats you badly, you CAN help that. We are in control of our own feelings and options. It’s not up to a feeling. I feel like I want to punch someone in the face right now, but just because I feel that doesn’t mean I have to do it. I feel like I may love someone because I’m lacking the attention I think I deserve, but that doesn’t mean I love him. It means I’m lacking the attention I desperately want, not that I’m going to find it in this one particular person. We should allow ourselves the time to figure it out and get rid of all the bullshit.

Love is drama, people are drama, love yourself first peoples! And that concludes my serial talk for the day. Happy FREAKIN Friday.

Number ONE Reason I Hate Facebook

I realize that mark zuckleburger (or whatever) is making a shit ton of money off facebook, but at the price of it’s user’s privacy…I just don’t think that’s fair. As an adult I can choose my privacy settings and KNOW, with great certainty, what I am and am not putting out there for the WORLD to see. But for a child who has absolutely NO idea what he or she is getting into…it’s scary.

I remember a time when you had to be a certain age to join. Not only that, you had to be in college. It was a college network. Now before fb there was Myspace, but still you had to be at least 18 or older. I think even 18 at this point is too young to post your life online, but at least it was there. Protecting us. Now you can be ANY age! Some are not mature enough to decide for themselves what is or is not appropriate for social sites. I know for myself I didn’t realize what I was doing until I was 25 and I had to learn the hard way.

Fb does gives us the option to make our pages private, but for a teen that thinks they’re the shit doesn’t want anything and everything they do every second of every waking minute to be private. Could there at least be a MANDITORY private setting for teens? In a perfect world these teens would have parents who actual PARENT their children. Maybe most do, but I know some that don’t. If it were me I would be taking my child’s computer and cell phone, or ipod or whatever, away every night at 9:00. I swear having a 16-year-old niece has scared me away from ever wanting kids.

If our parents don’t protect us then who will? It’s certainly not the moneymakers behind such sites like facebook. They don’t care. And they shouldn’t have to. 

P.S. Hey facebook, is there a way you can BLOCK friend requests? Some crazy bia keeps requesting me after I ignore her! I mean I know I'm awesome, but no one should be that eager to be my friend...

Single Girl Problem Numero Uno

What do you do when you think (know) a friend of yours is into you but you’re into his buddy? Facing it, there are a lot of single girl problems, but this one is standing out today.

My problems are always the same. They’re too young, they’re too short, they’ve got a kid, or his buddy is into me…if dating is anything at all, it’s something to write about on this blog. God knows it would probably be shit without my dating recaps (bitching/whining/woe is me). Oh dating is NO fun. 

A friend of mine told me, “Good luck with that…Flirt with both of them it will work for everyone”. HA! Silly girl, but you may be right. Though I don’t want to play with anyone’s emotions.

I was having dinner with my bestie and her guy on Friday. She’s sitting there telling me how hard it is “dating” and being “single”…which holds a lot of water coming from a person who’s probably never been single for more than a day since I’ve known her! She even said it, “That day…I was single, it was really hard”. Oh yeah? Must be really tough. She told me she just tells it straight! And it seems to work.  So far so good, her guy seems to be the catch.

So I ask, Dear Life, lets be in sync mkay?    

My “Not So Much” Journey’s: More Messages from that OKC

 As you can only imagine I get some weird messages on okc. Only a few are worth posting. I bring you TWO gems that I've gotten in the last couple of months.

First up is from about 3 months ago. YooCantBeSerous (is his screen name and I actually thought exactly that after reading this message): "Kickball is the shiznit…I hope you are ready for crazy, because crazy is coming your way (editors note: crazy doesn't exactly explain it).

So…I’ve done a ton of research and put a lot of thought into this and I’ve scientifically masterminded THE most sincere, genuine and thoughtful copy-n-paste intro pickup line specially created…just…for…you. Are you ready?

Wait…waaait for it…

Hi…I’m Chris…I’ve got an average sized brain but I know how to please you with it and promise you’ll be satisfied FIRST every time ;) I come from a very stable and rewarding family that I’ve worked hard to build and I have a loving career that I am very close to (editors note: Chris, is that backwards?). I have an emotional but never clingy penis (editors note: OMG what!?) that I am very passionate about and that is very close to me (editors note: NO SHIT!). It’s gotten me where I am today (editors note: which is on a FREE dating site) and don’t know where I’d be without it. I hope one day to meet someone who I can introduce to my penis (editors note: no you just didn’t mention your PENIS AGAIN!) and who’ll feel the same way. In the mean time, I’d like to start out by just meeting a nice, fun, drama-free vagina (editors note: yep he went there) to develop a friendship with in hopes that it grows into a healthy mutually beneficial connection that I can introduce to my family someday. (editors note: did he just say he wants a “friend” with benefits?) Who knows what the future holds?…pets…kids…marriage…therapy…dysfu…family perhaps?…and whatever other tax benefits awaits us. I’m just so excited to have the privilege to be on this site so that you have the opportunity to meet me (editors note: no thank you) and I know you are just about to pee in your pants with anticipation too.

BAM!!!

I know that’s some good shit right? Almost too much to handle (editors note: You got that right). Like getting dessert for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Savor it…take it in slowly and saaavor it.

But…you’re welcome!

YOU just got handed goods! And lived to tell about it (editors note: trust that I will).

What’s next? Drinks…hot oily nekkidness…crash a wedding? It’s aaall (editors note: gotta love a guy that uses his letters multiple times) yours for the taking.

Number please? (Editors note: I think NOT!)

And so…how much of this did you really take seriously" (editors note: enough not to write you back).

I know readers that was a long one! But it had to be done. The next one comes from Sharkbaitoohhaha, who has a much nicer approach: “Hi Ms. Tlsavage, lol, how are you? I’m about to shut myself down from this site, but before I did, I had to say something to you. Get off dating sites!!!

1) You’re very beautiful (editors note: aw thanks). You say your pictures don’t do you justice, but I beg to differ. If I ever met you in person, I’d find it difficult to believe you’re prettier than your pictures. Your pictures are gorgeous; it’s just not possible.

2^nd (and final) Have faith that a wonderful person will sweep you off your feet-it just takes time. I know time can be a terrible monster that ticks by ever so slowly, but don’t be in a hurry. I have destroyed my dating life. Something time can’t fix (editors note: I’m intrigued, do tell…). If I could change it/fix it, I would. But alas, there is no recovery, and it’s led me to view many instances in a different light (editors note: and he’s not going to tell me what he’s talking about! You’ve got to be kidding me!).

I guess what I’m trying to say is: you have a much better chance at a quality man in real life (editors note: I don’t remember asking for a pep talk but ok), leave us computer junkies alone, lol (editors note: at least he has a sense of humor), and get out there! Someone is looking for you-out in the real world, not on a computer. Be out there, and you’ll be found.

Best wished and good luck!”

Too bad he deleted his profile right? I have decided that my gorgeousness scares guys away from my profile. This isn’t the first message I’ve gotten like this. What am I doing on this site!? In a total I’ve met two guys I’ve actually liked. One, I swear tries to avoids me and the second I actually met through a mutual friend years ago before okc was even a thought, in my non single days. It’s truly funny how things work out. At the end of the day, I’m still looking.