Surprisingly Busy Week on OKC

Lately when I open up my OKC app there is little to NO activity, but today I had a bunch of notifications and interests. What’s going on OKC? Did you get some new members or something? This usually only occurs when I change my picture, which I have not.

The guy who wanted to move to Columbia and me be his Penelope Cruz to his Johnny Depp, is still messaging me. He asked if he should book the flight to which I replied, “ Shouldn't we meet first” and thinks we have plenty of time to get to know each other on the flight and it takes too much time to meet first…Um ok…How bout NO!

“GOTYERASS” (interesting screen name right!?) tells  me he could “really dig me”. Um duh! I’m totes dig'able, but his pictures are cute so even despite that awful name I wrote him back.

Tales from the OKC

I got a message from a guy the other day saying that he wanted to move to Columbia, like Johnny Depp in Blow, and he needed me to be his Penelope Cruz, alls I had to do was sit by the pool all day looking hot and drinking margaritas.

As appetizing as that sounds it’s going to be a strong NO for me. 

My Journey’s: Maybe the First

Because it’s been a while, God knows the dating pool is awful right now (side bar: I am dating but it’s just dating) I’m reaching back a bit…

The other day I was thinking (I know I shouldn't strain myself) and I thought Garrett was my first real boyfriend. He should of set the tone for future relationships, but instead I rejected him. What is wrong with me? He was such a good guy. Carnations for our three-month anniversary, something he found more exciting than I did, he never push me into anything (kissing back then was a big deal mkay) and he always had nice things to say about me despite what was in his ear (Chamblee can be so dramatic and talk talk talk).

I’m probably stretching the truth a little. When I hit high school I had a number of boyfriends right off the bat (I’m not gloating). In truth I was just new eye candy to some, but I was something special to Garrett. He made sure I knew that and it made me feel weird so I put an end to it. I chose to be with someone that was less than good to me instead. This person turned out to be my long term. I grieve the thought of this.

The older I get (or maybe it’s just the dating) the more I realize that certain things just don’t matter and the ONE thing that actually does is how someone makes you feel. We set the tones for how we want to be treated. If we let guys get away with being jerks they’re going to be jerks. The saddest thing of all is Garret was way cuter (and taller) than who I chose for long term. What.Was.I.Thinking!? Now I’m so frightened of losing myself or getting hurt it’s hard for me to take the leap. And I really only have myself to blame. Most of us are damaged and we need to get the F over it! Live in the now.

This is turning into a self help (of sorts) so I’ll end with Happy Voting Tuesday! Thank God it’s almost over. It’s nasty outside and I can only think that it’s a direct reflection on our candidates. That being said, I'm not voting so as my Daddio would say my opinion doesn't count. 

Single Girl Problem Numero Uno

What do you do when you think (know) a friend of yours is into you but you’re into his buddy? Facing it, there are a lot of single girl problems, but this one is standing out today.

My problems are always the same. They’re too young, they’re too short, they’ve got a kid, or his buddy is into me…if dating is anything at all, it’s something to write about on this blog. God knows it would probably be shit without my dating recaps (bitching/whining/woe is me). Oh dating is NO fun. 

A friend of mine told me, “Good luck with that…Flirt with both of them it will work for everyone”. HA! Silly girl, but you may be right. Though I don’t want to play with anyone’s emotions.

I was having dinner with my bestie and her guy on Friday. She’s sitting there telling me how hard it is “dating” and being “single”…which holds a lot of water coming from a person who’s probably never been single for more than a day since I’ve known her! She even said it, “That day…I was single, it was really hard”. Oh yeah? Must be really tough. She told me she just tells it straight! And it seems to work.  So far so good, her guy seems to be the catch.

So I ask, Dear Life, lets be in sync mkay?    

My “Not So Much” Journey’s: More Messages from that OKC

 As you can only imagine I get some weird messages on okc. Only a few are worth posting. I bring you TWO gems that I've gotten in the last couple of months.

First up is from about 3 months ago. YooCantBeSerous (is his screen name and I actually thought exactly that after reading this message): "Kickball is the shiznit…I hope you are ready for crazy, because crazy is coming your way (editors note: crazy doesn't exactly explain it).

So…I’ve done a ton of research and put a lot of thought into this and I’ve scientifically masterminded THE most sincere, genuine and thoughtful copy-n-paste intro pickup line specially created…just…for…you. Are you ready?

Wait…waaait for it…

Hi…I’m Chris…I’ve got an average sized brain but I know how to please you with it and promise you’ll be satisfied FIRST every time ;) I come from a very stable and rewarding family that I’ve worked hard to build and I have a loving career that I am very close to (editors note: Chris, is that backwards?). I have an emotional but never clingy penis (editors note: OMG what!?) that I am very passionate about and that is very close to me (editors note: NO SHIT!). It’s gotten me where I am today (editors note: which is on a FREE dating site) and don’t know where I’d be without it. I hope one day to meet someone who I can introduce to my penis (editors note: no you just didn’t mention your PENIS AGAIN!) and who’ll feel the same way. In the mean time, I’d like to start out by just meeting a nice, fun, drama-free vagina (editors note: yep he went there) to develop a friendship with in hopes that it grows into a healthy mutually beneficial connection that I can introduce to my family someday. (editors note: did he just say he wants a “friend” with benefits?) Who knows what the future holds?…pets…kids…marriage…therapy…dysfu…family perhaps?…and whatever other tax benefits awaits us. I’m just so excited to have the privilege to be on this site so that you have the opportunity to meet me (editors note: no thank you) and I know you are just about to pee in your pants with anticipation too.

BAM!!!

I know that’s some good shit right? Almost too much to handle (editors note: You got that right). Like getting dessert for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Savor it…take it in slowly and saaavor it.

But…you’re welcome!

YOU just got handed goods! And lived to tell about it (editors note: trust that I will).

What’s next? Drinks…hot oily nekkidness…crash a wedding? It’s aaall (editors note: gotta love a guy that uses his letters multiple times) yours for the taking.

Number please? (Editors note: I think NOT!)

And so…how much of this did you really take seriously" (editors note: enough not to write you back).

I know readers that was a long one! But it had to be done. The next one comes from Sharkbaitoohhaha, who has a much nicer approach: “Hi Ms. Tlsavage, lol, how are you? I’m about to shut myself down from this site, but before I did, I had to say something to you. Get off dating sites!!!

1) You’re very beautiful (editors note: aw thanks). You say your pictures don’t do you justice, but I beg to differ. If I ever met you in person, I’d find it difficult to believe you’re prettier than your pictures. Your pictures are gorgeous; it’s just not possible.

2^nd (and final) Have faith that a wonderful person will sweep you off your feet-it just takes time. I know time can be a terrible monster that ticks by ever so slowly, but don’t be in a hurry. I have destroyed my dating life. Something time can’t fix (editors note: I’m intrigued, do tell…). If I could change it/fix it, I would. But alas, there is no recovery, and it’s led me to view many instances in a different light (editors note: and he’s not going to tell me what he’s talking about! You’ve got to be kidding me!).

I guess what I’m trying to say is: you have a much better chance at a quality man in real life (editors note: I don’t remember asking for a pep talk but ok), leave us computer junkies alone, lol (editors note: at least he has a sense of humor), and get out there! Someone is looking for you-out in the real world, not on a computer. Be out there, and you’ll be found.

Best wished and good luck!”

Too bad he deleted his profile right? I have decided that my gorgeousness scares guys away from my profile. This isn’t the first message I’ve gotten like this. What am I doing on this site!? In a total I’ve met two guys I’ve actually liked. One, I swear tries to avoids me and the second I actually met through a mutual friend years ago before okc was even a thought, in my non single days. It’s truly funny how things work out. At the end of the day, I’m still looking. 

My Journey's: Well No Time Like the Present

After a lot of consideration I re-activated my okcupid account. I’ve gone on a total of 2 dates since I rejoined and I’m already about over it, checking it close to never and even setting up a date and forgetting about it…Oopsies. Well he didn’t try to contact me to definite plans anyways, so no harm no foul.

All that being said I have a date tonight. I feel like I’ve been here before. Explaining to you all, my few readers, that I have yet another online date to go on. They never amount to anything. If anything at all a good story (or bad story) in “My Journey’s”. Maybe this one will, or won’t, end up there. It has been a while since I’ve posted anything in that section of my blog. 

Wish me luck readers. No matter how hard I try (or how many times I say I won’t) not to get my hopes up, I always do! They always go up just to be dropped down. I’m not being droopy I’m just sayin. Maybe I’ll get a second date…Maybe a third…Maybe I’ll be able to use the sessy unders I bought for more than just myself (I kid I kid) ;) Maybe it will maybe it won’t, but just like my title, no time is like the present. Here’s to it… * cheers *