Because it’s been a while,
God knows the dating pool is awful right now (side bar: I am dating but it’s
just dating) I’m reaching back a bit…
The other day I was
thinking (I know I shouldn't strain myself) and I thought Garrett was my first
real boyfriend. He should of set the tone for future relationships, but instead
I rejected him. What is wrong with me? He was such a good guy. Carnations for
our three-month anniversary, something he found more exciting than I did, he
never push me into anything (kissing back then was a big deal mkay) and he
always had nice things to say about me despite what was in his ear (Chamblee
can be so dramatic and talk talk talk).
I’m probably stretching
the truth a little. When I hit high school I had a number of boyfriends right
off the bat (I’m not gloating). In truth I was just new eye candy to some, but
I was something special to Garrett. He made sure I knew that and it made me
feel weird so I put an end to it. I chose to be with someone that was less than
good to me instead. This person turned out to be my long term. I grieve the
thought of this.
The older I get (or maybe
it’s just the dating) the more I realize that certain things just don’t matter
and the ONE thing that actually does is how someone makes you feel. We set the
tones for how we want to be treated. If we let guys get away with being jerks
they’re going to be jerks. The saddest thing of all is Garret was way cuter
(and taller) than who I chose for long term. What.Was.I.Thinking!? Now I’m so
frightened of losing myself or getting hurt it’s hard for me to take the leap.
And I really only have myself to blame. Most of us are damaged and we need to
get the F over it! Live in the now.
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