Things I Hate about the Dreaded Elevator

Other than the fact that their pulling you up and down by just STRINGS and you can find yourself STUCK anytime you take one, I hate people who get on for ONE floor.

I've mentioned this before. Unless you're disabled there is no reason you should be stopping the elevator just to go up one floor. Get your lazy ass on the stairs. Is this just me?

I have to go up 12 floors at work so stopping for any number of floors is an annoyance. Today I go to take the mail down and as the dreaded elevators doors are closing, on my way back up, a hand slides in to stop it * rolls eyes * A man gets on and hits 1…Yeah, he’s going up just ONE floor * rolls eyes again* He then has the audacity to tell me I am pulling the “where’s Waldo look”…Um come again? How bout you've got the creepy old man look down guy! 

Psychosomatic…Called It

Leaving the restroom earlier today I passed by the Men’s room and heard Mr. Coughy in there and it sounded AWFUL! So bad I actually said out loud, “Oh my God”. So, as you do, I sent him an email.

Short, simple and sweet, I sent, “Hey MR. COUCHY, are you feeling ok? I've noticed you've been coughing a lot…” To which he replied with this, “TB.  Kidding. I think my throat is just dry...it seems kind of humid in here...or is that just me? At my age, it's probably just me!!! Thanks for asking...that's sweet of you!” I reply to him saying it sounds serious so I was just checking and he says, “Knowing me, it is probably just psychosomatic! If you happen to walk past my office and I'm slumped over my desk or sprawled out on the floor...it's just me being a drama queen. Pay no attention...it will just encourage me.”

It’s not humid in here and if you’re throat is dry get some f’ing water! It’s FREE and in the kitchen steps away from you. And you’re saying that it's all probably mental? It’s hard to “pay no attention” PLEASE.STOP. I wouldn't have said anything at all, but it’s just every few seconds (literally) he’s coughing LOUD coughs. It really sounds like it could be something serious. 

I Hate Valentine's Day

I've been thinking a lot lately (I’ll try not to strain myself) about, obviously Valentine’s Day, and the ridiculous pressure put on singles and men in relationships. First off Valentine’s Day, in my mind, is a holiday strictly to sell flowers, cards and balloons that‘ll just end up in the trash. Sorry if I sound bitter or negative it’s just how I see it.

To me Valentine’s Day means two things, ONE: it’s my 8 year anniversary at work. That being said I finally got an “old-new” (someone else’s old while they got a new) computer. Downside, Vista was installed on it. TWO: Two years ago I found out one of my dear old friends killed himself, blah blah blah. That being said I figured some things out…

My friends tend to do this around some sort of holiday. Garrett, Valentine’s Day. Mr. White’s birthday was the day before Valentine’s Day and he left us Christmas Eve. Dear Hotine was right before my birthday (and one of his roommate and best friend’s birthday). Holidays can be rough and messy apparently.

Still, usually I would end up wearing red or something for this holiday but today I just forgot. There is so much other shit going on that it just slipped my mind. I did get a “Happy Anniversary” from the VP of the company this morning, which I really appreciated. 

What a Nice Work Environment

Today is turning out to be one of those days. It’s raining and the phones keep ringing and MR. COUGHY won’t stop COUGHING!

I don’t get it! I've been working here for 8 years, next week, and for 7 of those years I've been sitting next to him. He is always coughing! His throat has to hurt from all of the strain he’s giving it. I personally think he doesn't need to cough he just does it. They’re LOUD rough coughs too. Not like a clearing of the throat, that is equally annoying, but it sounds like he needs to see someone. He’s fine when he’s talking to someone, but if he’s sitting it’s constant coughing. Literally, I can time it and it’s every few seconds.

Sure it’s all laughs and giggles when I record him and send it to friends, but honestly it’s quite distracting. I've been on the phone and had to turn up the volume. He’s not even right next to me anymore; he’s across from me.

Come to think of it, everyone around me coughs constantly. Mr. Coughy, being the worst, but co-worker to the right of me is constantly clearing her throat (even on her work interviews – fucking gross!) and co-worker to the left of me, always coughing! I should just put my ear buds in and listen to my iPod  but I can’t because the phone keeps ringing. I’m near sending these people emails on “chronic coughing”. 

Thank God I’m a Terrible Speller!

I almost really f’d up this afternoon. Typically after lunch I get really busy. I don’t know if it’s because everyone finally decides to start working (including myself) or if everyone just decides to be difficult...Either way after lunch I get busy and today followed suit with the phone ringing off the hook, someone asking me to scan something for them and sales reps not doing their job. 

I got an order this morning that was quite confusing. I emailed the rep and in typical sales rep fashion didn't hear back so this customer has been waiting for their access and hasn't gotten it. Finally after lunch I get in touch with the rep and I’m copied on an email with the customer. I replied to the email with something smart ass intended for the rep, but thank God for spell check because had I not been asked if ONE word was spelled correctly that email would of gone to the customer NOT the rep.

My heart stopped beating for a second and I got a flash back of when I first started here and I copied everyone on an email that was intended for just one person. How could I be so careless? It is finally revealed to me why I've struggled with bad spelling all my life. It was for this very day! 

Tis the Season to Take Lots of Days Off from Work

Today is Thursday and my last full work week. Next week we have Thursday and Friday off for Thanksgiving and then starts my “every Friday off” weeks.

It’s a struggle to get out of bed every morning. It’s cold (love it), dark (time change) and I felt a bit under the weather this week (blah). I always get a cold/sinus infection this time of year. The weather is just so up and down it’s hard not to get sick.

That all being said, I’m totes wearing heels today and its totes a challenge! 

My Journey’s: Work Business up in My Business

Someone at work asked me the other day how “M” and I got together (side bar: “M” is one of my ex’s and he works with me). First off, how bout mind yb!? No really.

“M” and I have been friends since high school. I thought he was the hottest thing that walked the halls of Chamblee (even with his red forehead from falling asleep in class. Now that is LOVE). You know what they say is true you are your surroundings. We were so back and forth for years. He was into me, but I wasn't into him and vise versa. Finally we got on the same page (so I thought) and we made it official. As I do when I finally get what I want I don’t want it anymore. I think by the time it finally happened I was just over it, but wanted to give it a go.

Me thinks I do stuff like this all the time. Typical girl behavior of wanting what I can’t have just because I can’t have it. What a brat I can be. I could be totally into just being casual but as soon as he says he wants to be casual I’m like, what wait a minute that’s not how this is suppose to work…

I wish it were Friday. Ever since last December, when I took every Friday (and a couple Monday’s) of the month off I never got use to coming back to the 5 day work weeks. That being said, it’s almost December and I’ll be doing that again. 

That’s My Parking Spot Dear Sir

This morning someone stole my parking spot. Yes MY parking spot. I've seen him in the parking lot before. Usually he parks beside me or around me, why today did he take my spot? Clearly his BMW is more important than my Mazda. NOT OK!

Still, I didn't let this crude act put me in a bad mood. An older man was walking in the building behind me and I opened the door and let him in ahead of me. He was so thankful and happy over this gesture. He said, “don’t take this the wrong way but what a gentleman”. I didn't take it the wrong way, we both laughed (hahaha). As we do, we got on the (dreaded) elevator together all by our lonesomes and he said, “there are two types of chivalry in the world, men to women and young to old, thank you very much”. As he was getting off he said, “I hope you have a great day”.

It feels good to please people, or do something nice for someone. I mean he wasn't that old and all I did was hold the door open for him, but he was so thankful. He brightened my day. 

Shivers on a Sad Day

I don’t know what it is, but whenever I talk about sad things or frustrating things I get really cold. Like shivering cold.

Last night it was during a conversation of suicide. Today it’s after hearing that the owner of our company doesn’t have much longer to live. After seeing my boss crying and sitting thinking on the sad news I can’t stop shivering and my hands are freezing.

Mr. B is a great man and he’ll be greatly missed for everything he did for each and every one of us. Whether we knew him for years or just days, he was good to us. 

Today Is Not the Day

Let me start out by saying I am probably the MOST inpatient person I know. That being said I hate when people don’t text me back. I mean I understand a couple minutes, but hours…Come.On. If you’re playing games that sucks! I hate games (unless I’m the one playing them, then that’s ok) mkay? (I guess my dad was right, I am high maintenance). 

Just about everyone is getting on my nerves this morning. Yesterday a friend said that I must be about to start or something because I was being bitchy. I like to think of it as being 100 but she calls em like she see’s em and I guess she’s just being 100. Fast forward to this morning, I don’t even get a change to sit down before a co-worker (who’s been here for at least 30 minutes) hands me a post it and says, “This lady wants you to call her”. I call her and guess what…She spoke to my co-worker this morning and all she wants is to have someone walk her through the order process. ONE, my co-worker could of done that. Two, As if I have time for this shit! Asking questions like, “what does shipping address mean”, well I can only assume it means to fill out your shipping address, but I’m just guessing…I’m a “team player” though and held her hand through the entire process that ran over 9 minutes. Three, It’s really not that hard people.

Not an hour goes by before the same co-workers sends me an email saying a couple people’s birthdays are coming up, “should we plan something”? I say sure why not to which she replies, “can you plan it I’m too busy right now”…Well then why did you even say anything? I’m not like swamped but I’m busy enough ok!

The phone is in full force today! When you’re breaking up and I ask you to please repeat yourself don’t act like I’m slow. That is just so rude and disrespectful and it doesn’t set a good tone for the rest of the call. Just sayin. And “you’ve got the wrong number” does NOT mean I want to hear the number you dialed and who you’re trying to reach. 

Sayonara and a Happy Friday

The guy that sits next to me at work (annoyance) has put in his notice (to quit). He apparently got a better “sales” job. He said it’s “more responsibility”. Well good luck cause that means you can’t be on your phone all day, with personal phone calls, yelling at Comcast, yelling at UPS (about your lost lingerie, that actually was shipped FEDEX), saying “fuck”, throwing pencils, walking around chit chatting instead of working, listening to music, actually cold calling and actually show up on time (not 30 minutes late, taking long lunches and leaving whenever you want to – just sayin).

That being said, since he started here he’s never been early let alone on time. He was early this morning. I know this because I’m always early. He’s early because he’s packing up his “personal” items (hope he doesn't forget his bill cosby sweater). Nice to know his priorities are straight.

His initial last day was suppose to be the 8^th, that would have been the professional 2 weeks notice, but we’re talking about this guy and he’s not professional so he decided to throw in the towel early and have his last day be today. Hallelujah for me! It’s like I hit the lottery really. I’ve been waiting for this day since he started. Now I feel like an asshole…but they are my feelings. The thing is I’ve had to listen to all his bs personal calls, his yelling, his lack of professionalism, his constant whistling, belching out loud like a college school boy, I pretty much know too much about him, because he talks too much and gives away too much, I’ve wanted to punch myself in the eye, and I’m just over joyed that he’s leaving. I never wished him to get fired, he quit, and he got a better job, allegedly.

So Happy Friday dear readers! And I just want to point out I’ve lost 2 followers. I don’t know what that’s all about, but Sayonara! 

Work Problems

This newish guy that works next to me has the worst banter on the phone. It’s like listening to nails on a chalkboard. That being said I’ve been listening to my ipod during work, as loud as possible NOT to hear his annoying voice over my music, and still sometimes I can. That’s problem number 1.

Problem number 2, I have a hard time listening to music and NOT singing out loud. I really have to stop myself from belting out lyrics. I’m pretty sure that if you listen close enough you can hear me lip singing lyrics O_o

With that comes problem number 3, listening to my ipod at work I can’t hear people walking by or behind me. This results in me constantly checking around hearing things. AND when the phone rings it interrupts my jam. I know my stomach growls, but I don’t know how loud because I can’t hear it.

Finally a problem number 4, my headphones hurt my ears sads

I Can Be Such A Hater

A couple of things that bother me at work:

Why would “bathroom girl” regularly come up to me and say, “Hey, did I get anything from FedEx today?”…UM NO don’t I always tell you when you receive a package? If it means that much to you, have the FedEx guy call YOU when your packages arrive. No need for a middleman cut me out. Then she follows it up with an email, “let me know when my package arrives ASAP”…Again I ALWAYS DO!

People are constantly walking in and out of the door (that is right behind me). It’s loud! There is constant commotion behind my cube. Whether it is the morning/mid day/afternoon chit chatter that congregates literally RIGHT BEHIND ME or just people having NOTHING better to do other than walk up and down the halls RIGHT BEHIND ME! I seriously think this one rep just has nothing better to do other than look for his palls and chit chat. Don’t these people understand I’m trying to slack off, internet and blog? Privacy please! It’s just constant traffic behind my cube. I swear people aren’t working; they are finding excuses to get up and walk around.

Everyone is always coughing or clearing their throats around me. Mr. Coughy not only coughs and clears his throat every other second, I’m not exaggerating, but he’s just a loud talker. He has an office so he could totally shut his door. A research team member moved next to me because it was too loud near her and she too is constantly clearing her throat. The new guy, whom is totes frat-tastic, drives me up the wall. He is making calls for our research team and it’s like listening to nails on a chalkboard. NAILS ON A CHALKBOARD! The guy is not only pushy, but he stutters and does NOT go off the script! Non-sense. His voice and banter on these calls is putrid to my ear holes. Work forbid he be sitting at his desk when there’s a conversation going on near him. He gets up, walks to it and butts himself right into the conversation. And far be it for anyone to bless me after I sneeze. So rude, I bless people, but I never get a bless you!

Vent-Friday. I’m very thankful for my job and opportunities given, but sometimes I end up asking myself “why don’t these people work” or “stop coughing” These people can’t really have to cough that much. Let us not forget the constant flow of calls I get a day of people filled with stupidity and wanting me to assist their every move to order. It’s really not that hard people. 

My Journey’s: Boy Was My Face Red

I am qualifying this as a “journey” though it’s not really a “journey” just an instance that happened between an ex and myself.

I’m in our accountant’s office bitching about how I’m having to pay more out of pocket for my recent dental work than I’d planned. Totally pissed! While I’m going on and on my ex walks in her office. Quick back-story - It’s no secret that an employee here is an ex of mine. I got him the job about 3 or 4 years back. We dated a year after high school and though we’ve had some rough patches, we’ve remained friends - So, he walks into the office and we start going on about how he and the rest of the sales reps are going to Vegas. Of course I’m jello! I want to go to Vegas. We start talking about flying and blah blah blah I need to get over my fear of flying blah blah blah.

One of his friends is a pilot for Delta. Unfortunately, though our office fly through Delta often, his friend has never flown him. This starts up a conversation about two girls that are also friends with said pilot that I couldn’t remember. I couldn't rap my brain around who these girls he’s speaking of were, then SNAP it comes back to me. “Oh” I say, “I remember them. I use to think you had a crush on her when we were dating”. We’d kind of gotten caught up in conversation that we’d forgotten we were in the accountant’s office and she's just sitting there listening. My ex says to her, “You must really be enjoying this conversation” and she says, “I’m just wondering how it’s not awkward that you guys work together when you’ve both seen each other naked”. We both at the same time said, “It is now”.

As I get up from the chair I say “on that note I think I’ll be leaving” and my ex begins to follow. My face was blood red and again in unison we say, “Thanks _____”. It was funny and yes very awkward. I think we’ll be avoiding each other for a while now. 

Walk Away Mug

This beautiful mug was purchased by myself for someone I work with a couple years ago. On a vacation trip, you know "just a thought". I got 4 people the same mug (different colors). I don’t know whom this particular colored mug belonged to but some how it’s ended up all over the office.

First I see a temp using it every day. It’s like he considers it his own. Snap, I did not buy that for you where did you get it!? It  goes missing from my eyes for a while, after said temp left. I thought maybe he'd taken it with him. I was wrong. I noticed a manager putting his coffee it in the other morning. I don't know who I gave it to (could only be 1 of 4 people) or why it's in this situation but…damnit if it wasn’t a GIFT that was not appreciated! 


I just found it in the kitchen cabinet. I took it and he's coming home with me. He'll be safe from harm there. 

Dear Rude You’re Looking Rather Rude Today

A sales rep asked me if I had a staple remover today. I thought about it for a second. Should I say yes? Or should I lie and say no? Well this is why I usually lie and say no…

I decided, it being Thursday and me trying to be chipper, to say yes and let him use my staple remover. Shortly afterwards he was done using it and then asked to barrow my stapler. I let him use my stapler in my cube, but it was in another cube he “barrowed” my staple remover. I heard him leave the other cube and return to his desk. Did he return my staple remover?…NO! He left it in the other cube. So, I had to get up and retrieve it. Filing under RUDE!