Elevator Rendezvous

I ran into a guy that may or may not have been flirting with me in the lobby this afternoon while fetching the mail. 

I'm standing there in the lobby, along with three other people, waiting on the elevator. One an older man with food from the cafe in his hand. Another an older lady, also on her way up from the cafe. And then this younger (probably my age...shit that aint young is it? boo hoo hoo) guy coming from outside. Who knows where he was coming from. Lunch? Home? A smoke break? Who  knows. 

So anyways, I'm standing there waiting waiting waiting, holding the mail, and I can see him looking at what seemed to be my mail from the corner of my eye. You know in my peripheral. So this guy, pointing at his wrist, says to me "What's that mean?". I have a tattoo on my wrist. I giggling say "Scorpio. It's my sign". Now for reals I am a totally oblivious person. I don't know if he was talking to me because he thought I was cute or if he was just bored trying to strike up conversation with a fellow building attender. 

The conversation continues, I say, "I like it" and he nods. At this point we are in the elevator. I have to go up to the godly 12th floor! I hate elevators and we're on the highest floor. Makes for a beautiful view, but I don't really care because I don't have an office with a view. He's getting off at the 5th  floor. "Zodiac" he says and I'm like "yeah". Then as he's stepping off he says, "What month is Scorpio" and I reply with "October". And that is it. I have to ride the rest of the way up with the older man and older woman which of course get off at 10 and 11. I hate the elevator for two reasons. 1) They freak me out 2) I don't like being that close to people I don't know. And I honestly feel like every time I get on the elevator it stops at almost every floor. Like I hate those people who get on at 1 to get off at 2. Really you're that lazy? That's how I see it in my head. Another day another blog. 

He probably was just trying to make conversation, but it was nice anyways. I like making new friends and I've been secretly hoping I'd meet someone on that damn elevator. 

Dear Friend

It's been nearly three months since my friend's death and I still think about him every day. I wrote him a note that I never got to take to the service and I wanted to share it. 
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When I look back to high school, I remember thinking I thought you would grow up to be something incredible. You were so talented in both music and photography. I remember thinking no one was as good as you. Of course that was so long ago, but still that's how I saw you. Remarkable. I admired who you were and what you did. Some of my fondest memories have you in them. And some of my most cherished photographs either you took or are in. You were always one of those people who left Atlanta and I always wished would come back. Back home. For my own selfish reasons. I just always missed you. And honestly was jealous of the friendships you made after us.
I remember specific things that we did together. Like how you would play Jewell's You Were Meant for Me on your guitar and I would sing the lyrics for you. It was our song. And that is the only reason I still have that song on my playlist. You would beg me to sing it while you played it. And in front of people you knew the only way you were going to get me to sing was if you turned the lights off. I was shy and with the lights out it felt like it was just you and me. So I remember, sitting in a dark room while you played on the guitar and I sang.
We only dated for a short time, but you were always special to me. I remember for our 3 month anniversary all day you were so excited, you had a surprise for me. You knew my favorite flower back then was carnations. You had me meet you up the street from Murphy Candler. Between your house and my grandparents house. There you were waiting for me with 3 Carnations. One for each of our months as "boyfriend girlfriend". I still to this day say that is the sweetest thing any boyfriend has ever done for me. And if anyone knows me at all they know I do still have those carnations.
I can't wrap my head around it. Like how are we suppose to continue on without you with us. You were so far away, but never far enough to where the possibly of not seeing you was there. Now we have to figure out how to live without you. And sometimes, quite honestly, I don't think I can cope with that. You ARE such a great person! I can not think of a person better than you. I see your smile now. In my memory. And I hear you playing your guitar. And I see you at the corner with 3 carnations in your hand. 
I remember when we broke up and you wanted to get back together. I of course didn't want to get back together, but you kept trying. Eventually you started crushing on another girl and then I, as you do, I wanted you back. I think this is when I had my first case of "love sickness". I remember trying to eat, but when I thought about you I just couldn't. I couldn't eat. Anyways that's how I feel now. I can't eat when I think about you.
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Now I've had a difficult time with this. He's not the first one that we've lost this way and I really thought the last one was the last one. I've gone through your basic wave of emotions. I was really sad for about two weeks. Every face I looked at I saw him. Every song I heard reminded me of him. When I saw babies I thought, "How are they going to turn out? Will they be sad? Will they not make it" and these thoughts really disturb me. After two weeks I started to get really angry. I would be crying then I'd be yelling about it. I was so angry that someone so bright and promising and attractive would do something so selfish. Like I had to sit through a service where people said family was #1 to you! I can't begin to image I know the pain he was going through. Or anyone for that matter. And I'm done asking myself why. But I do know that taking your own life isn't the answer. 

WTF...

I tell my dad I'm seeing someone. He immediately responds with three questions, 1) Does he have a job? 2) Does he have a car? 3) Does he have his own place? 
I say to my dad, "Um why?" and he replies, "Because if he  has one of the three it's not going to work."
Thanks DADDIO! And I got news for ya, it doesn't work out anyways! :P

Maybe I Shouldn't of Deleted Every OKC Number Stored in My Phone

So I get a text the other night from a number not stored in my phone, "Hey babe it's been a while, how have you been?". I know a couple things from this text message, 1) It's a guy 2) I have NO idea who this guy is. So why is he calling me babe? Naturally I reply with a lie and say, "Sorry got a new phone and lost contacts who is this?". To which he replies (and I'll use some coding to protect identities here, but they are not much off), "Bench from Barks". Now I'm even more confused then before. Bench from Barks? WTF!? I reply with "uh...?" to which he replies with a picture of himself. I've been online dating for a while and as mentioned previously I have forgotten names, but I don't think I've forgotten any faces. I've talked to some guys that I haven't met and I'm thinking at this point he is one of them. 


As you do at this point I just lie again and say, "Oh hey are are you? I'm good". And he says, "Oh ya know just tending bar". I see an opening here. I'm beginning to think I may know who this guy is. A guy that I was talking to when I first started OKC. I decided I wasn't into him because his pictures were, well not to my liking, and told him I was seeing someone. I reply, "Where are you bartending?" and he says "Barks" so I google Barks really quickly. It's a Gay Bar. DING DING DING! I remember this guy now. It is the guy that I just didn't want to deal with. Too bad I deleted all those okc numbers from my phone. 


I keep up the friendly banter and he asks me what I'm up to tonight. Well I tell him I'm in for the night, which I actually was, and to hit me up later during the week. Don't know why I did this. I don't get myself sometimes. Why am I trying to be nice? I'm not interested in this guy. But I think to myself why the hell not ya know!? I'm not seeing anyone and I joined to meet people and I actually think hey maybe it could work out. * rolls eyes * He text me that maybe we can meet up on Tuesday, to which I replied "I'll probably be available then". 


The next day I decided to look up Woofs on an actual computer, because the night before I just did a quick search on my phone. Lucky me! They have employee photos on their website. So, I go to the link and start looking for this guy. What do you know his actual name is Bench! There big and bright "Bench" and this goofy ass picture of this guy is staring me in the face. Ginger and balding. Now I remember why I told him I was seeing someone. I don't mean to be mean, but balding! And I'm not a hater my grandfather wore a toupee for as long as I remember. And my grandfather was the best. I'm just sayin he's balding! 


At this point it's pretty much decided I'm not going to carry through with meeting up with this guy. Even my dad is in the background saying, "don't do it, he didn't do it for you the first time he's not going to this time, don't do it". Decided, I'm not. He texts me Monday morning, "Hey still good for tomorrow night?" and I'm starting to feel bad at this point. I know how it feels to want to meet someone and it just not happen for you. I mean I've been there. But I can't I just can not. So, I reply with some bullshit about how some co-workers are moving (which isn't entirely untrue) and I have to go to a work thing so no. He replies with "Boo :(". I think it's over at this point, but NO he texts me again Tuesday telling me he hopes I have fun at my co-workers farewell. I just didn't reply and I stored his number so this doesn't happen again. I mean what kind of people name their kid anything remotely close to Bench??? 

“Guys are like port-o-potties. All the good ones are taken and the bad ones are full of crap.”

I feel like as I get older all the good guys are taken. Was it because I didn't go to college? Did I miss out on the opportunity to meet the "right guy" in college? After all Dave met Angela in college (Slackers people one of my favorite movies. I want to meet me a Devon Sawa). 

In high school I dated a couple of the good ones, but they didn't last sadly. I guess I thought that I wanted to date all the cute guys that I possibly could. I broke a couple hearts before I found the "one". The "one" who I spend 6 years with. "The one" being a short ginger and a lying cheater. What is wrong with me? Unfortunately it wasn't until after high school that I woke up one day and thought to myself this is not who I want to be with and it's time to have fun!...

At this point I had been tied down for 6 years and was not interested ina relationship. All my friends were in college. Finding relationships and moving on. Now all my friends are getting married! 

I'm beginning to think that I've literally dated every single guy in Atlanta. And I'm beginning to wonder if I missed out on something meaningful because of the choices I made in my early 20's. The good guys are taken,  and the only ones left I find don't have their own place, can't drive, or are gay. Really. I need a gay best friend. Maybe he can give me some advice. 

I've been online dating, meeting new people and trying to get out of my bubble. I have dated so many guys that I don't remember some of their names. When I went through my phone and saw all the phone numbers I have accumulated I was like this can NOT be real life. DELETE DELETE DELETE. Not to say it's all been a waste. It hasn't. I've met a couple guys that I actually liked, but eventually it ran it's course. I know what I want and I don't think that I should have to settle for anything less. And I am NOT picky. 

“Women are like elephants. Everyone likes to look at them but no-one likes to have to keep one.”

iPhones Get All the Goods

There's nothing more that urks my nerves serialously (and that's for real serious) than iPhone's getting all the good cases. It's not enough that the iPhone gets all the cool cases (I'm looking at you Speck) but now this too! Turn your iPhone into a regular desktop/tabletop phone with this iPhone dock. There are a few others out there just like this one. Etsy seller freelandstudios takes old Rotary Phones and turns them into docks for the iPhone. She does have one for "smartphones" but only certain sizes are compatible (http://www.etsy.com/shop/freelandstudios). These docks actually transform your iPhone into a regular use phone. 
   
The search is on! I have a regular HTC Aria. It's the smaller, been called the "woman", model for the HTC. I am absolutely in love with it. The android market has come a long way to bring us some of the same apps (if not exactly close to it...with glitches of course) that the iPhone offers. The only thing I am not happy with is that I have to get a boring case appose to something interesting, fresh, and stylish like iPhone users have the choice to get. Really! The options are endless when it comes to decorating your iPhone. Why not have the same for HTC? Is broadening your market not of interest to anyone? 


I guess one could say that I'm an iPhone hater. I'm not big on itunes. I'd rather listen to media player. I like to customize my cell phone with ringtones for my friends (phone call and text). From what I understand this is not an option on the brilliant iPhone. Don't get me wrong to each his own, but for me I'm sticking with the HTC. I would absolutely love it if we HTC (or other smartphone) users had more options when it came to making our phones look cool or do cool things. Like most people I got rid of my land line when I realized my cell phone was my main source of conversation. I imagine myself coming home, putting my phone in a cool dock like pictured above, and being able to make and receive calls old fashion like. 


I guess for now that's just all wishful thinking. 

To My Friends, In Remembrance

The Savage House, where we use to do what high school kids do (make your own assumptions) is no longer our home. Where once the “Shit Room” sat, will belong to a GATOR fan! My parents have shuffled off across the street to a "fancier" home. We’ve all shared lots of memories and good times in that house.

My Elementary friends, Sunny, Alex, Sam, Vicky (Victoria), Sarah...I have very fond memories of all of you. The mail truck that my dad bought that we use to play in. The kudzu that doubled as not only a short cut to get to friends houses, but also a playground. We actually made it into a "house". Are You Afraid of the Dark, Tales from the Crypt, walking to Mom’s and Pap’s or the pool, sleep overs. My beffy Lars coming over and taking “modeling” pictures or to watch a movie on the living room floor. My dad’s file cabinet and videos (this could actually go to both my elementary friends and high school friends. We was bad). 

From the shit room, where the “Is Not Allowed” list (changed frequently and was never paid attention to) use to hang, where Bradley threw up in the garbage can, where we witnessed unnamed sources getting it on, where Niesse passed out and got a face full of make up on video tape then just about kicked every one's ass! All the furniture we ruined! The kitties, the beer bottles, the liquor bottles, thrown into the kudzu, and putting in N’SYNC to cheer up a girlfriend after a break up. “It’s tearing up my heart when I’m with you, and when we are apart I feel it too…” Melissa giggling till she cried, and, myself, Tracy, Mike, Ed Willis and Robert making a hair commercial for school. Scotti, becoming Roxy Bam Bam and Mary inventing the Happy Meal diet.

Even before the shit room we use to hang out in the garage or at the park across the street. My mom frying up some chicken in the fry daddy for us. Richard, spending an entire night with my 4-year-old niece, while Court claimed to be her favorite. Drunk Ass waking up my dad to get a drink. Someone seeing my dad naked and my guy friends hoping to see my mom naked!

 My Cavie of Pleasure, Tracy’s Escort, Julia’s Dirty Bird, Scotti’s Camry, Kristina’s Wagoner, Robert’s Honda (with the auburn tag tisk tisk), Patrick’s jeep, Lee’s Buick, and Bradley’s bronco all use to fill up the drive way every weekend (or week night). Sometimes even the Shaggin Waggin would make an appearance.

It wasn't long before we had the baby bro's friends hangin around trying to be part of the action! Thank god he learned from our mistakes. I truly believe what he witnessed back in those days contributed to his NO drinking policy.

Those times have been long gone and made into distant memories. It’s weird that this won't be our house anymore. The shit room was torn down way before they moved. It served no purpose after we bloody teenagers moved out. But I can still see it. I see my friends, hear the laughter and even the fights. Good or bad, all those memories are dear to me. They always will be. Let us never forget the memory of friends we've lost. That partook in many of these instances. Thank god for all the good times, great moments, and learning we all got out of the garage/shit room. 

Simply Savage bitches!