My NOT So Much Journey's: And Just Like That It's Done

It's done, I've deactivated my okc account. Done are the days of going out on worthless dates. 


It’s just my luck! I haven’t been single for this long since…well I can’t remember. Maybe as long as 9 months or close to a year, but 3 years! Is it just bad luck to stay in a relationship for 3 years (and two weeks to the day) and go single for just the same? I've dated and even kept a somewhat constant guy for 6 months, but it wasn’t what I wanted at the time. 

I've gone on date after date with guys I’ve met off Match.com or Okcupid.com. Some were fun, some were not so memorable and some were just a good story to tell. I met guys I liked and I've met guys that I don’t even want to be friends with. Although I can make any situation worthwhile, a very select few aren’t even worth the memories I have of them. In the end I think I’m coming to the realization that I’m not going to meet a future online.

Maybe it’s not the time or maybe it’s just not for me. I know everything happens for a reason and patience renders the right results. I know who I am and what I want. I can thank my past relationships (good and bad) for teaching me that. 

Music is what Feelings Sound Like

It’s like lyrics tell stories to our Lives. You know how you can hear a song and it makes you feel a certain way? Sometimes you’ll pass a song on your playlist cause you’re not in the mood. Other times it’s the perfect time your shuffle found that specific song. I have had this one song in my itunes, thanks to Daddio making me a CD in high school, that I never gave a chance. Don’t know why just never did. Until today and today was the perfect time. It was beautiful and sad.

You know how people find ways to leave us through life. If it was planned or wasn’t. One minute they’re here and the next they’re gone. Some affect you more than others. Some you couldn’t imagine life without and still can’t. Life does go on without them, but you’re not the same. Losing people you love changes you. They may appear in your dreams. I think of it as visiting, but others find it haunting. The same effect with a song, for me. Maybe I skipped a certain song a while ago, maybe I didn’t, but then again it plays at the right time. When something happened to change us or when we’re thinking of certain situations. It can be heartbreaking or perfect.

We are challenged in life every day. Some challenges more noticeable than the others. I’ve been convinced being Chamblee High’s Class of 2001 is a challenge in itself. Music has help me through about every situation. When I was sad after a long-term break up “Life is Wonderful” reminded me that though it is rough now, Life is Wonderful regardless. And every time I find out another friend has left us, there’s always a song that speaks to me directly through it’s lyrics. 


Just like that, without notification “Life is Wonderful” has made it’s turn on my iPod and I’m smiling. 

Silence Your Cell Phone at Work!

I don't understand why I silence my cell phone at work, out of respect for others, when they don't do the same for me. 


All day I hear, beeps and purps and tones. Do we all need to know when you're getting a text, a voice mail or a call? I think not. And I please you to silence it. 


Do we all need to hear your selected ringtone interest? No. I have numerous ringtones that I've personally made and I'm quite proud of, but I don't leave my phone on BLAST so you all can year it. 


As if my blog plead will change the choices of the peeps I work with, but PLEASE silence your cell phones at work. 

Danger! Zombies! Run!

I predict that one day someone will ask me what it is like surviving the zombie apocalypse. I will answer that, “though it can be lonely and I miss the ability to take regular showers, it’s nice not having to pay a power bill”.

In actuality one of the three will be the cause of my early demise:

     1)      Eaten by a random zombie, while out catching a cig.

     2)      My sister eating me o_O

or three..

...Straight Suicide! 

A New Year

Dear Tara,

       Get out of debt!

    Read more.

    Get on a plane and fly somewhere to visit at least one of
    your long distant friends. Or just go on vacation
    somewhere you don’t have to drive to.

    Don’t worry so much.

    Be something you want to be, not just something you have
    to be or are use to being.

    Don’t take relationships so seriously and let things happen
    as they’re supposed to happen.

    Mend more broken relationships.

 Stop answering the phone at work while you’re on lunch break!

Get Baptized.

Go Camping. And disconnect for a few days.
Continue to purchase your own groceries and try to eat better.
Paint the walls in your house, they're getting out of hand. Fill the holes, look for spots. Just do it already.

Have fun and stop stressing over the little things or the things you can’t control.

      Make it memorable! 

We Can Do Hard Things

I’m feeling kind of ornery today. Thinking about Garrett, whom I’ve had two dreams about the pasted two nights in a row. The first I greeted him with hugs and kisses, knowing in the dream that I was to wake up and he’d be gone. He smiled and hugged back. I woke up without feeling scared, I felt good that I got to see him again. The second he was with a crowd of people, knowing he wasn’t alive but acting as if he didn’t know he was and we were to treat him as if he were alive. I asked a friend why we were pretending, he knew he was dead. Still I got to see him again and this time he looked more like Garrett. Thank you for visiting I miss you like crazy! Maybe I’m becoming less mad at you.

Today was our Christmas lunch at work. I can barely produce a smile. Maybe it's just the company. Or maybe I’m tired. Or maybe I’m finally winding down and just plain tired from all the Christmas festivities and shopping. It does take a lot out of me. By the end of the lunch, FINALLY someone sat next to me, I was more able to smile and converse with people. I did bring my pie up to my desk though. It was cherry and it was cold. Why was the pie cold? It isn’t good cold.

Anyways, back to work. I hope I can snap out of this funk I have a long week ahead of me.

Happy Holidays! 

My Journey's: Dating Has Become Like Kickball…

Seriously! I love my kickball team with a passion, but like kickball dating has turned to once a week, fun while we’re doing it, but at the end unmemorable. 

I met okc “H” for trivia and had a really good time. Stayed out way passed my bedtime on a school night (work night), had some really good conversation and promised a second date. A second date did ensue. Typical movie night with some popcorn and milk duds (not my pick). He said tom cruise was his all time favorite actor. I liked him this guy, but my viewpoints on tom cruise: crazy, douche, bag, actor. Why tom cruise? We talked for a while in the parking lot until it was cut short because I had to hurry home to let my sister in the house. He seemed busier than I’d like to date because he has a son and some baby mama drama. So the end for now.

Again I’d sworn off dating because of the above-mentioned disappointment. But per usual I find another date all to quickly.

I met okc “M” at a supposed “secret” spot below a Taco Mac. It sounds naughty and creepy, but trust it was not. It was very nice and cozy. First glance he’s cuter than I thought he’d be, so I’m pleasantly pleased. We sit down and go through the menu, which is on an Ipad. Nothing like Miller Lite served here folks, so I’m screwed! All the beer was expensive and high quality. I had to take it easy on the sips if I didn’t want to get wasted and drive home. We’re sitting we’re chatting things are going ok, he’s a total nerd so we’re talking about Star Trek, Dragon Con and Dr. Who, when the waitress comes up and says, “We’re trying out this new beer, if you taste it and like it you can keep it”. I’m thinking if I don’t like it are you going to take it back? I mean it’s in a full glass and typically taste testers are in a small glass. I taste it, my date tastes it and we give our opinion on it, we all know I’m no beer coinsure, the waitress leaves and we continue on with our conversation on what he went to Dragon Con as this year, and last year…

The waitress comes back about 20 minutes later and tells me, “Truth is someone sent you that drink earlier and now he wants you to have this Baby Guinness”. Oh shit! Someone is sending me drinks as I’m on a date. The bar is close to empty so I’m scanning the place to see who could be the culprit. Fat guy at bar…don’t know. I do know that the waitress has been “sworn to secrecy”. So I take a sip of the baby guinness and continue on with my date. 20 minutes later the waitress is back, saying this “fellow” wants to know what my favorite of the two was so he can send me another. I haven’t even put a dent in the two drinks he’s sent me, let alone mine because I’m a huge lightweight and these are high gravity drinks! I tell her it’s way too much alcohol but I preferred the baby Guinness to the beer, but quite honestly if he wants to send me something I’ll drink to send me a Shirley temple. She comes back with another baby guinness and a Shirley temple, which I drank in it’s entirety.

My date and I laugh a little about this and I tell him I think it’s rude of the mystery fellow, but the waitress tells him he has nothing to worry about. Um…how would you know girlfriend, you don’t know him or me. The date ended nicely and we said we’d be in touch, which we have. Still my feelings toward him aren’t intimate because I think we’re just too different.

Some have said I’m picky, and maybe I am, but I don’t want to settle for someone and risk unhappiness when I can actually be happier without. It’ll happen. * fingers crossed *