Sing Along

Recently a couple old friends were asked to sing with another mutual friends band on a couple of tracks, back up. This is like a dream of mine. I would love to sing back up to a kick ass band. But sadly I wasn’t asked, or just wasn’t in the right place at the right time.

I was kind of jelly about the whole thing. Then I was at my parent’s house for my dad’s bday breakfast. A song came on the speakers, from my dad’s play list and my dad rushed my twin sister and I outside to hear it better. I didn't know what he wanted at the time, bringing us outside I thought I was in trouble or something. A train was passing through so we couldn't hear what was on the speakers. I said, “what is it, what do you want?” and finally he says “I wanted you to sing this song with me”. At that moment it hit me. I don’t need to prove myself to anyone or be in a band. I know I can sing and it’s enough just having my dad want me to sing a song with him.

It made me remember when we were young my grandfather would have us sing into his little recorder for him. I can’t remember now what the song was that he would always make us sing, but I remember singing into the recorder often enough. I would do anything to be singing for him again. 

De-Cluttering and Finding Old Stuff

Last week I walked into my room after eating dinner and gave it a good hard look. After looking through some old photo albums and sorting loose things into boxes I started organizing and throwing stuff I just do not use away. I went through maybe 4 trash bags and two sets of t-shirts and sleep pants because I was covered in dust. Realizing I probably hadn't dusted in about a year...Or more. 


I de-cluttered my shelves and some drawers. Now I have a couple empty shelves (for more junk in the future I anticipate) and two empty drawers. The moral of this blog was to get this Poem I wrote out of the way. I found it stacked under lots of old papers, concert wrist bands, tickets, lose photos and holiday cards. After reading it I remember I wrote it after a friend of mine died a while back in October. It was a horrible feeling. One I thought I'd never get rid of. Of course I did and hoped to never feel it again. Too bad things don't work out that way. 


Anyways, here's the poem (don't judge mkay!)...


We're back here again
It feels like a million times
Walking up to the familiar doors
I feel sick


Over Whelmed with sadness
We're no strangers to this place
Everyone looks so unreal
Passing by with nods and half ass smiles


Trying to listen to the voices
I stare into the carpet
Completely numb and out of it
No tears to cry no words to speak


Missing you is my weakness
Thinking of all the times we shared
Passed and gone
Left as old memories felt with tears


I realize it's a bit lame, but that's how I felt at the time. Now I can put this paper in the recycle bin. Since everything is digital now if I need to go back and remember I'll just look at my ever so popular blog. 

OkStupid

My dad told me he went on "OkStupid" found my profile and under neath my picture it read "High Maintenance". First off, thanks dad. Second, I am not high maintenance. I actually think of myself as low maintenance. Considering my competition and my track record. But maybe I'm wrong. I mean here I am still single. Still on okc.


OKC has consistently been giving me a case of the disappointments. Not that it's all been a waste, I've met some really interesting people. Had good dates and had bad dates, but I'm getting sick of seeing the same people every time I log on. I feel like I've dated every single guy on okc. Most of the guys, not that there was anything wrong with them, I just wasn't interested. 


I started hiding profiles and now I feel like I'm hiding everyone. Much like I've done of fb. Now I sound like I don't like people. Which is partly true. I don't like the guys who don't post but one picture and that lonely picture barely shows your face. That usually means there's something wrong with the way you look. The vague profile. The 98% match that doesn't interest me in the slightest. When I say I want to date someone of my ethnicity why do you keep pulling up guys not in that group? Or guys that live 50 miles away when I specifically say 25 miles or less? Gas is expensive okc. So what's up really? 


So, I'm about over it and I think I'm going to take a hiatus for a while. 

A Tale About a Shirt That Got Way Too Much Wear and It's Adventures

I was dating a guy a couple years ago. He was pretty nice and I found him rather interesting. We were hanging out a lot. Meeting at our spot (the Derby - shout out) or at the restaurant my sister was working at. Going to concerts, watching movies at either of our cribs. We were dating. Something I hadn't done in quite a long time. 


I started to notice that he wore this one shirt an awful lot. It was a 311 shirt. Like fine I get it you like 311 so do I but does that mean you have to wear them the fuck out? Literally. At first I was completely denying this. My bestie would say to me "Tara does he have any other shirts" and I'd be like "WTF bia he likes that shirt plus he doesn't wear it every time we hang out". I was kidding myself. Actually I was lying because it was kind of lame and I noticed it too. One night we even went out and I pointed out to my bestie that he was wearing a different shirt. YAY! 


We hung out numerous times during the week. And I'm not saying you can't double up on your shirts, but it was really noticeable how much he actually wore the same shirts. Like if I saw him on Monday and Wednesday of the same week chances were he was wearing the same shirt both days. Do you have any other shirts?  Do you have two of the same shirt? I mean I try not to wear the same thing every time I see the guy I'm dating. I dated this one guy for two months. He maybe saw the same shirt on me once. And that was only after I saw him wear the same shirt twice. After like a month of dating. 


After we stopped seeing each other he deleted me from fb (as you do) DICK! No I mean I get it. Back then I didn't I was mad at him for deleting me, but now I get it. He's still friends with my sister though. So I'm bored, cruisin around on fb about a month ago. And he pops up on my sister's page. You know under "Friends". I decide to go check him out. First off he's got a girlfriend now, which I think is great. Seems he finally settled down after dating me and 4 other girls while he was still MARRIED! I really do know how to pick em. Anyways, I'm looking on his page and you can only see his profile pictures. He only has 5. 3 out of 5 pictures he's wearing that 311 shirt. His most current profile picture, with his new girlfriend, he's wearing it. 


I IM my bestie and tell her what I'm up to. We're both cracking up. I go to his girlfriend's page. Her profile picture of them, he's wearing that shirt. And before you say "Tara it could of been the same day" no it wasn't. I freaking guarantee that shit. She's wearing different outfits. Plus the scenes are completely different. Then I go to his best friend's page and I can hardly believe it (let alone contain myself) I see that damn 311 shirt in like every picture of him. Just when you think that shirt can't get worn enough you are slapped in the face with a YOU WRONG GIRL! I go to another friend of his page. Same deal. I mean change your shirt dude! 


It's awesome that you found a shirt you like. And again we all like 311. But do you have to wear it out? How are you not sick of that shirt by now? I got a Panda shirt (that I love) a couple weeks ago. I had packed weekend plans with different groups of people. So, yeah I'll admit I wore that shirt 4 days in a row! And I haven't worn it sense. And I won't until the time is right. 

Graduation is in the Air

Tis the season to be graduating. Either you're graduating for high school, kind of a big deal. College, sort of a big deal. Or middle school, so not a big deal. All this graduating takes me back. For one it's been a decade since I graduated high school. A decade! So don't even ask me how long it's been since I graduated middle school or elementary school. It's been a long freakin time. You do the math. 


High school graduation I can remember. There are just basic things I remember. I remember what I wore, who I sat next too, certain conversations, the fact that my shoe kept getting stuck in the mud, we weren't allowed to throw our caps (so we threw paper LAME), it almost rained, and my cousin decided to get married that same night so my family was few and far between. It's ok family, I don't hold it against you. I mean shit, you never came to my chorus recitals so why would you come to my graduation? It's just high school right? WRONG I didn't go to college. You guys missed out. 


Elementary I can sorta remember. I remember my hair was short and super blonde. Oh how I miss that blonde hair. I remember that I got this fabulous outfit for the big day. In my mind I looked awesome. It was a black overall type dress. White shirt underneath. I was SUPER CUTE! Run and tell that. I remember being really sad. I grew up with these people and I knew I was leaving them the following year. It wasn't just my friends. It was the teachers, the librarian even the janitor. This big (so I thought) portion of my life was ending. And I had to start all over. I was so scared. 


Middle...I don't remember graduation much at all. Alls I really do remember is that they told us that we could not wear anything dark or bright. My answer to this bullshit was to wear a bright orange dress. Yep! I did it. I thought I was so bad ass. Fighting the man. Making a statement. Really I just looked ridiculous. Everyone else did what they were told and wore pastels. Damn you everyone else. 


In high school I actually listened. They told us to wear light colors and I wore white. Only difference is, in high school you wear a gown over your outfit In middle school you didn't so what's the the point really? I did get to wear that white dress to my cousin's wedding though. So take that cousin for taking my day. I'll show you by wearing white to your wedding! Bitch. I guess I still am a bad ass. 


So, it just occurred to me. I did two elementary schools. When I was a kiddo we didn't have middle school. They just shipped me off to an elementary school that had one more year than my original elementary school. I guess this is why I'm having trouble remembering middle school graduation. Or I just hated my second elementary school. Yeah, I think it's the latter. 

I Don't Get It

Why do you text me passed 11pm and then when I text you back you don't respond? The least you can do, since you basically just woke me up, is text me back when I text you BACK! 


Thanks, just don't. 

It Does Not Matter How Slowly You Go As Long As You Don't Stop

Am I wrong for staying in the second to last left lane on the highway? I mean is going 80+ miles per hour too slow for most people? I would think that going 80+ is pretty fast considering the speed limit is 55. Am I wrong? 


Why are people on my ass behind me? Honking at me? Signalling for me to move over? Getting next to me and giving me bad looks? I mean am I really going too slow for you? I'm going 80+ in a 55! Is that too slow? 


Are you in that much of a hurry? Obviously you're a dick or else you wouldn't get next to me to give me a look like I'm some kind of asshole for being in that lane. How bout this...I wish you would slow the fuck down! And you're lucky I didn't act like a total bitch and slam on my breaks while you were inspecting my bumper. I'm in this lane and I'm not moving. Get over it.