My Journey's: Inappropriate

It was brought to my attention that I may have given a few guys the wrong idea. Countless dates off the internet for, what 3+ years, and I've had two guys come at me incorrectly about my outfit choice. Some may say that’s a lot, I say it’s minimal in the overall of how many dates I've gone on.

The infamous date with the guy who tried to eat my face and get me to have sex with him, told me that my “body” and the way I was “dressed told him a different story” other than the NO that I was spitting out of my MOUTH! And years ago I’d gone on a date with a guy who’d texted me after I’d left for home to tell me the “next time” he sees me I’ll have to “wear a shirt less revealing” because it makes him want to have “sex with me”…Um not ok.

I for one think this is an unacceptable way to talk to people! I would say regardless of if I’m wearing a low cut shirt or not. If you know me at all you know that I’m pretty modest. I don’t flaunt it, I’m a t-shirts and jeans type of girl, I barely wear shorts in the summer and I don’t even get drunk (let lose) often. Most guys would agree, but for some reason it would appear there are some people that may look at me like I’m the one doing something wrong!

I shouldn't feel bad having what I have. I dress the way I want, I don’t think about who it’s going to affect, and as far as I’m concerned that’s more than ok. To note I know for a FACT the outfit I wore with face eater was not revealing. True, at our first meeting I was a little drunkie and we were dancing BUT still that doesn't mean I want to f you! I don’t even know you. The shirt I was wearing for the other date was a bit low cut but I was wearing an under shirt and he should probably learn to control himself! 

Buffy the Vampire...

Slayer: to impress (someone) sexually and or V Slayer: to take a women's virginity. 

Am I the only person that didn't know this!? This lovely definition came to my attention this weekend and my childhood suddenly turned into something gross. Why OH why must people turn things into something dirty? In my research  most of the definitions for “slayer” were about the same: to kill violently, wantonly, or in great numbers; broadly : to strike down. But still I thought I’d bring it to my reader’s attention. Buffy (the original) was one of our hero’s growing up! 

That being said,  I saw Jack the Giant Slayer this weekend and Ewan McGregor is one of my favorite actors! Just proving men with cross bows are hottest.  

Psychosomatic…Called It

Leaving the restroom earlier today I passed by the Men’s room and heard Mr. Coughy in there and it sounded AWFUL! So bad I actually said out loud, “Oh my God”. So, as you do, I sent him an email.

Short, simple and sweet, I sent, “Hey MR. COUCHY, are you feeling ok? I've noticed you've been coughing a lot…” To which he replied with this, “TB.  Kidding. I think my throat is just dry...it seems kind of humid in here...or is that just me? At my age, it's probably just me!!! Thanks for asking...that's sweet of you!” I reply to him saying it sounds serious so I was just checking and he says, “Knowing me, it is probably just psychosomatic! If you happen to walk past my office and I'm slumped over my desk or sprawled out on the floor...it's just me being a drama queen. Pay no attention...it will just encourage me.”

It’s not humid in here and if you’re throat is dry get some f’ing water! It’s FREE and in the kitchen steps away from you. And you’re saying that it's all probably mental? It’s hard to “pay no attention” PLEASE.STOP. I wouldn't have said anything at all, but it’s just every few seconds (literally) he’s coughing LOUD coughs. It really sounds like it could be something serious. 

I Hate Valentine's Day

I've been thinking a lot lately (I’ll try not to strain myself) about, obviously Valentine’s Day, and the ridiculous pressure put on singles and men in relationships. First off Valentine’s Day, in my mind, is a holiday strictly to sell flowers, cards and balloons that‘ll just end up in the trash. Sorry if I sound bitter or negative it’s just how I see it.

To me Valentine’s Day means two things, ONE: it’s my 8 year anniversary at work. That being said I finally got an “old-new” (someone else’s old while they got a new) computer. Downside, Vista was installed on it. TWO: Two years ago I found out one of my dear old friends killed himself, blah blah blah. That being said I figured some things out…

My friends tend to do this around some sort of holiday. Garrett, Valentine’s Day. Mr. White’s birthday was the day before Valentine’s Day and he left us Christmas Eve. Dear Hotine was right before my birthday (and one of his roommate and best friend’s birthday). Holidays can be rough and messy apparently.

Still, usually I would end up wearing red or something for this holiday but today I just forgot. There is so much other shit going on that it just slipped my mind. I did get a “Happy Anniversary” from the VP of the company this morning, which I really appreciated. 

What a Nice Work Environment

Today is turning out to be one of those days. It’s raining and the phones keep ringing and MR. COUGHY won’t stop COUGHING!

I don’t get it! I've been working here for 8 years, next week, and for 7 of those years I've been sitting next to him. He is always coughing! His throat has to hurt from all of the strain he’s giving it. I personally think he doesn't need to cough he just does it. They’re LOUD rough coughs too. Not like a clearing of the throat, that is equally annoying, but it sounds like he needs to see someone. He’s fine when he’s talking to someone, but if he’s sitting it’s constant coughing. Literally, I can time it and it’s every few seconds.

Sure it’s all laughs and giggles when I record him and send it to friends, but honestly it’s quite distracting. I've been on the phone and had to turn up the volume. He’s not even right next to me anymore; he’s across from me.

Come to think of it, everyone around me coughs constantly. Mr. Coughy, being the worst, but co-worker to the right of me is constantly clearing her throat (even on her work interviews – fucking gross!) and co-worker to the left of me, always coughing! I should just put my ear buds in and listen to my iPod  but I can’t because the phone keeps ringing. I’m near sending these people emails on “chronic coughing”. 

Just a Dream

 So I ran into a couple of the dreaded ex’s friends last night. One I've always had a bit of a crush on. I mean he’s just so damn CUTE! Of course he’s married and has a kid, but still one can dream…And dream about him I did!

The first time I met him I thought, “why oh why didn't I meet him first”. Either way it wouldn't of matter, he’s had the same girlfriend (now wife) forever and she’s cool as shit, but I didn't know that at the time.

Per usual he looked good last night. Even after a sports event, he was all sweaty and rough lookin. Maybe this is why I had this dream…I mean there is something hott about sweaty guys, right? As you do, I dreamt about him. I won’t go into too much detail but it was quite pleasant and vivid. I’m not talking wet dreams or anything like that, ok.

I was asking all the wrong questions and getting all the right answers. Yep, this definitely was a dream! Because only in a dream do you get everything you want out of a guy. Lately I've been waking up super early and having a hard time falling aback to sleep, but this morning I woke up right on time and for that I thank you. 

Our Minds are Terrible Things to Waste

My head can be so awful at times I hate it. I don’t typically trust in people. I could blame this on my parents, as you do, or even my ex boyfriends. At the end of the day, however you can only blame yourself for what you let hold you back.

My dreaded ex use to say to me, “I’m not the one making you upset, you’re doing it to yourself”. I use to get so mad at this comment and think “NO ass it’s YOU”, but there is some truth in what he was saying. Our minds are so powerful and we do have the ability to control it. We can focus on the bad and let it drive us crazy. Or we can accept things for what they are and be content.

Anyways, my mind has been working over time lately. The unknowing is quite difficult to handle sometimes and it sends my mind in the weirdest of places. I don’t know if it’s just me (I know how I can be) or if it’s something trying to tell me something.

In a quest to get some kind of control, I've started a yoga class with my Auntie. So far so good, though I don’t think I’m any good at it. I just keep falling in some of those stretches and I can’t help but laugh at myself. If anything at least I can laugh at myself.