Single Girl Problem Numero Uno

What do you do when you think (know) a friend of yours is into you but you’re into his buddy? Facing it, there are a lot of single girl problems, but this one is standing out today.

My problems are always the same. They’re too young, they’re too short, they’ve got a kid, or his buddy is into me…if dating is anything at all, it’s something to write about on this blog. God knows it would probably be shit without my dating recaps (bitching/whining/woe is me). Oh dating is NO fun. 

A friend of mine told me, “Good luck with that…Flirt with both of them it will work for everyone”. HA! Silly girl, but you may be right. Though I don’t want to play with anyone’s emotions.

I was having dinner with my bestie and her guy on Friday. She’s sitting there telling me how hard it is “dating” and being “single”…which holds a lot of water coming from a person who’s probably never been single for more than a day since I’ve known her! She even said it, “That day…I was single, it was really hard”. Oh yeah? Must be really tough. She told me she just tells it straight! And it seems to work.  So far so good, her guy seems to be the catch.

So I ask, Dear Life, lets be in sync mkay?    

My “Not So Much” Journey’s: More Messages from that OKC

 As you can only imagine I get some weird messages on okc. Only a few are worth posting. I bring you TWO gems that I've gotten in the last couple of months.

First up is from about 3 months ago. YooCantBeSerous (is his screen name and I actually thought exactly that after reading this message): "Kickball is the shiznit…I hope you are ready for crazy, because crazy is coming your way (editors note: crazy doesn't exactly explain it).

So…I’ve done a ton of research and put a lot of thought into this and I’ve scientifically masterminded THE most sincere, genuine and thoughtful copy-n-paste intro pickup line specially created…just…for…you. Are you ready?

Wait…waaait for it…

Hi…I’m Chris…I’ve got an average sized brain but I know how to please you with it and promise you’ll be satisfied FIRST every time ;) I come from a very stable and rewarding family that I’ve worked hard to build and I have a loving career that I am very close to (editors note: Chris, is that backwards?). I have an emotional but never clingy penis (editors note: OMG what!?) that I am very passionate about and that is very close to me (editors note: NO SHIT!). It’s gotten me where I am today (editors note: which is on a FREE dating site) and don’t know where I’d be without it. I hope one day to meet someone who I can introduce to my penis (editors note: no you just didn’t mention your PENIS AGAIN!) and who’ll feel the same way. In the mean time, I’d like to start out by just meeting a nice, fun, drama-free vagina (editors note: yep he went there) to develop a friendship with in hopes that it grows into a healthy mutually beneficial connection that I can introduce to my family someday. (editors note: did he just say he wants a “friend” with benefits?) Who knows what the future holds?…pets…kids…marriage…therapy…dysfu…family perhaps?…and whatever other tax benefits awaits us. I’m just so excited to have the privilege to be on this site so that you have the opportunity to meet me (editors note: no thank you) and I know you are just about to pee in your pants with anticipation too.

BAM!!!

I know that’s some good shit right? Almost too much to handle (editors note: You got that right). Like getting dessert for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Savor it…take it in slowly and saaavor it.

But…you’re welcome!

YOU just got handed goods! And lived to tell about it (editors note: trust that I will).

What’s next? Drinks…hot oily nekkidness…crash a wedding? It’s aaall (editors note: gotta love a guy that uses his letters multiple times) yours for the taking.

Number please? (Editors note: I think NOT!)

And so…how much of this did you really take seriously" (editors note: enough not to write you back).

I know readers that was a long one! But it had to be done. The next one comes from Sharkbaitoohhaha, who has a much nicer approach: “Hi Ms. Tlsavage, lol, how are you? I’m about to shut myself down from this site, but before I did, I had to say something to you. Get off dating sites!!!

1) You’re very beautiful (editors note: aw thanks). You say your pictures don’t do you justice, but I beg to differ. If I ever met you in person, I’d find it difficult to believe you’re prettier than your pictures. Your pictures are gorgeous; it’s just not possible.

2^nd (and final) Have faith that a wonderful person will sweep you off your feet-it just takes time. I know time can be a terrible monster that ticks by ever so slowly, but don’t be in a hurry. I have destroyed my dating life. Something time can’t fix (editors note: I’m intrigued, do tell…). If I could change it/fix it, I would. But alas, there is no recovery, and it’s led me to view many instances in a different light (editors note: and he’s not going to tell me what he’s talking about! You’ve got to be kidding me!).

I guess what I’m trying to say is: you have a much better chance at a quality man in real life (editors note: I don’t remember asking for a pep talk but ok), leave us computer junkies alone, lol (editors note: at least he has a sense of humor), and get out there! Someone is looking for you-out in the real world, not on a computer. Be out there, and you’ll be found.

Best wished and good luck!”

Too bad he deleted his profile right? I have decided that my gorgeousness scares guys away from my profile. This isn’t the first message I’ve gotten like this. What am I doing on this site!? In a total I’ve met two guys I’ve actually liked. One, I swear tries to avoids me and the second I actually met through a mutual friend years ago before okc was even a thought, in my non single days. It’s truly funny how things work out. At the end of the day, I’m still looking. 

The NeverEnding Cult

I decided to watch The NeverEnding Story last night. It had been a really long time since I’d seen it, so really it was like watching a new movie. As I do I wanted to see what the characters are up to now, as well as look like, so I took to Wikipedia. Bastian, one of the main characters was the first person I looked up.

I was so depressed to read that he LEFT acting, in his teens, to join the Sea Org and got himself married!  

 

Another actor taken by scientology! Hope that Million Year Contract is working out for ya there Bastian. 

UGA vs. Russ

Yesterday I saw a lot of posts via fb saying “Way to go Russ” or “Congratulations Russ” or “Russ you deserve it”. It took me a minute, but I finally realized they were referring to the UGA mascot. It couldn’t have been that all the posts came from UGA fans…Russ was our interim mascot after a couple UGA's died a few seasons ago.

 Congratulations Russ, you earned it!

I can’t believe it’s time for another football season. I’m so excited to spend my Saturday between the hedges with my family in our red/black/gray. Go Dawgs! 

Atlanta DREAM

The Atlanta Dream team came and visited us at work today. I don’t know what it is about mascots, but they make me nervous. I love them (Example: SPIKE) but they make me nervous. First the Hawk gestures to shake my hand and then pulls his hand away from me. As if he’s so hilarial, that’s shit my dad pulls on people and he's OLD. After he finishes laughing at me, he comes in for another and, I’m such a sucker, he does it AGAIN! Just the same, I fall for that every time with my Daddio. Ok enough is enough Mr. Hawk; we get it you’re so funny…finally he poses for a picture with me.

A co-worker and myself want to get our picture taken with the team so we head to the line. Just my luck, Mr. Hawk is there! I try to get out my phone to take a picture of him with my co-worker and my clumsy ass, for some reason, can’t get a grip on my phone and I spill my lemonade all over myself and in my hair. Let me tell you something, I worked to damn hard on my hair this morning to get sticky lemonade in it (now it’s up and it’s staying up). I was so embarrassed and everyone laughed while Mr. Hawk grabbed my lemonade. Too late Mr. Hawk it’s already all over me, but thanks. FAIL!

It was a fun day however. Nothing beats a FREE lunch and getting away from your desk for an hour. And even with all my nervousness the pictures came out pretty good. 

My Journey’s: Excuses Are Like A**holes and You’re Just Becoming One

You know that awkward moment when you’re on a date with a guy that you actually like and you’re about to tell him that you want to get married (one day) so badly that you can taste it, but at that very moment someone comes up and interrupts the conversation? It’s like God is telling you this isn’t the one.

Thing is, I do want to get married and I don’t want to waste my time getting involved with anyone that doesn’t feel the same way. I did that for 3 years! Then my ex goes and gets himself married a year after we break up. No doubt I wasted my life on a guy that was giving me excuses for me not being the one (or he just wanted to marry a subservient Russian) and now I’m going into my 30’s.

On the odd occasion that I check my okc these days there’s little to no activity. Today I check it and why is it that the last guy I went on a date with (who wanted me to pay for his parking) was checking out my profile? Ick. Then I get a text last night from one of the guys that asked me to meet him and never contacted me again. It’s been over a month buddy. Just.Please.Stop.

As you know dear readers I’ve been on a lot of dates the last couple of years and I’m giving up on being picky. I just want a guy who is going to be nice to me, make me feel safe, make me laugh and make me feel special (by doing special things for me out of the blue and a lot). 

And Another One...

OMG

I had another dream about Garrett last night! It’s been a long time since I’ve had one of these and this one was quite insignificant. Per usual I don’t know what any of these mean. Am I thinking about him subconsciously? Is he saying hello? Is it because his brother’s birthday just pasted? It’s the same damn thought every time! I should probably stop beating myself up over why and just accept that he’s apart of my dream life now.

I was with a small group, he was with a small group and we kind of just saw each other in passing. In the dream I think I was more or less trying to avoid him. Like, “oh there’s Garrett”. I can’t really remember but I think in the dream the feeling was that he wasn’t dead.

I spoke to a friend about dreaming of the dead last week. According to her these dreams are bad IF you speak to the person. Maybe that’s why I was avoiding him.